...it poured rain all day Saturday, heavy, hard, and I had to go out in the middle of it as I'd not done my errands Friday. Woodsy and Norman were armed with four sharps containers to drop off at a Walgreen's in the Desert for recycling: I've had those under the counter for 2 years now. I refuse to go to a needle exchange....simple as that is to do. It's making a statement I don't want to deal with.
Last night they came back, and while I'd not planned to see them: Woodsy had made it clear than he wouldn't commit to anything but last Thursday's dinner, nor did I want to rain on his parade and weasel myself into their plans. But Norman called and asked if I'd eaten dinner. I hadn't, so we went out for spaghetti. We had a quick, delicious supper and I walked them to their car. I didn't cry, I didn't make a scene. I just said goodbye.
Then I went upstairs and went on a binge. I cammed most of the night away, taking a few breaks but mostly roaming cyberspace: lonesome, depressed, and empty. I had five minutes alone with Woodsy and that was it. Well, what would I have done if I'd had five hours?
They are now gone, and I somehow need to get back to my life. I have a substance abuse problem that is keeping me from moving ahead, and any stress literally unnerves me.
I am so happy for Woodsy. I am not though, unhappy about my life. I can only start fresh tomorrow. I have dinner plans tomorrow night, a trip to Long Beach Friday and perhaps a date Friday night.
I'm moving forward.
Last night they came back, and while I'd not planned to see them: Woodsy had made it clear than he wouldn't commit to anything but last Thursday's dinner, nor did I want to rain on his parade and weasel myself into their plans. But Norman called and asked if I'd eaten dinner. I hadn't, so we went out for spaghetti. We had a quick, delicious supper and I walked them to their car. I didn't cry, I didn't make a scene. I just said goodbye.
Then I went upstairs and went on a binge. I cammed most of the night away, taking a few breaks but mostly roaming cyberspace: lonesome, depressed, and empty. I had five minutes alone with Woodsy and that was it. Well, what would I have done if I'd had five hours?
They are now gone, and I somehow need to get back to my life. I have a substance abuse problem that is keeping me from moving ahead, and any stress literally unnerves me.
I am so happy for Woodsy. I am not though, unhappy about my life. I can only start fresh tomorrow. I have dinner plans tomorrow night, a trip to Long Beach Friday and perhaps a date Friday night.
I'm moving forward.
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