It was about a year and a few months back when this news traveled by smoke signals and tom-tom swift as a Santa Ana wind in Los Angeles. A group of hot men gathered for a night of heavy partying, including, it was said speedballing. One man died, but the others failed to notice he was dead....for 12 hours.
When they figured it out, the did what I suppose any one might do, except you or me: they took his wallet, car and went on a shopping spree either in Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, or cyberspace depending on your taste in fraud, using HIS credit cards. Think about that at your next after-hours Lions Club meeting.
Speedballing, I learned is the combination of Cocaine and Heroin: a high and a downer that when injected, and combine can cause, I'm told a really freaky state of mind...if you don't die first. We could ask John Belushi, River Phoenix, Chris Farley, Jean-Michel Basquiat, or porn star Joey Stefano...if we had a Ouija Board. All were casualties of speedballs. Dangerous combinations.
Now, I wasn't hosting a Murder by Meth Mystery Party, nor was I combining pharmaceuticals and trying to become the next Louis Pasteur. Nor did I intend to O.D.Friday.... or Almost O.D. You read that right. Overdose.
I'm such a perfectionist, I can't believe I even had the nerve to put 'Almost'.
On the other hand, if I'd succeeded, you'd be getting this blog via Ouija Board. Assuming my body had been found. Ugh.
In fact, killing myself was the last thing on my mind. My mother overdosed on Seconal: accidentally…and I mean really. It was 1975 and my father had come home from another of his many hospital stays with this big bottle of these Red-Hots Candy looking capsules. And my mother, who preferred to deal with life by sleeping through it, swallowed a bunch of them (one memory I'm glad I don't retain) and perhaps, she just didn't associate death-by-barbituates with Margaret Sullavan, Marilyn, Judy, Inger Stevens or Janis Joplin, so she went sleepwalking towards the Valley of the Shadow of the Dolls, I hope fearing no evil. But I've carried the guilt ever since, because I've lived my life as I wanted, not the life she had planned.
Guilt, perhaps: regrets, never.
By the way, I found out that Seconal, Nembutal, Tuinal are relics of another era. Benzodiazepines like Valium and Librium replaced them. Ambien and Klonopin are the meds many are mad about today. And I don't mean 'mad' as in 'angry'.
No, this renegade's almost trip across the River Styx happened almost in a Heath Ledger/perhaps Whitney Houston type scenario. I was in post-party recovery mode after a heavy 24 hour marathon, taking my multi vitamins, when I decided I'd pop a 5-HTP tablet to make sure I didn't go into one of my rare cry my a river-i feel so lost and directionless jags. Pro-active was re-active in this case.
Now, there's something else could have triggered the extreme stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, etc that I felt. I don't think so though. At first I blamed it on my Friday fried fish lunch. Or that lousy tasting cole slaw that was on the side. Or, the apple pie I had for dessert. Or the extreme heat of the day. Or the disappointment that I wasn't going to have Woodsy to myself when he came to town next week.
As it so happens, I had recently read a posting about 'Serotonin Toxicity' aka 'Serotonin Syndrome''....which meaning, too much of a good thing can kill you. And the worst possible combination: Speed I slammed plus the 5-HTP I swallowed could have killed me. My saving grace? I'd been putting food into my body, hydrating, and stretched on my bed in pain beyond belief, one of my cats kept swishing his tail in my face, making it impossible to nod off.
This is as good as time as any to plug a couple of my favorite resources for all things drug related.
Bluelight is an outstanding forum...to post questions you must register. Do that.
Reviewing Harm Reduction never caused anyone to miss the next shuttle launch.
I happened upon a site dedicated to the Rave and Club Drug scene: Dance Safe.
It is everyone's responsibility to look out for one's self. If you can watch your brother's back too; God Bless You. Brother Man, however, has to look out for himself first also though. The days of carrying excess weight are no more.
Speedballing, I learned is the combination of Cocaine and Heroin: a high and a downer that when injected, and combine can cause, I'm told a really freaky state of mind...if you don't die first. We could ask John Belushi, River Phoenix, Chris Farley, Jean-Michel Basquiat, or porn star Joey Stefano...if we had a Ouija Board. All were casualties of speedballs. Dangerous combinations.
Now, I wasn't hosting a Murder by Meth Mystery Party, nor was I combining pharmaceuticals and trying to become the next Louis Pasteur. Nor did I intend to O.D.Friday.... or Almost O.D. You read that right. Overdose.
I'm such a perfectionist, I can't believe I even had the nerve to put 'Almost'.
On the other hand, if I'd succeeded, you'd be getting this blog via Ouija Board. Assuming my body had been found. Ugh.
In fact, killing myself was the last thing on my mind. My mother overdosed on Seconal: accidentally…and I mean really. It was 1975 and my father had come home from another of his many hospital stays with this big bottle of these Red-Hots Candy looking capsules. And my mother, who preferred to deal with life by sleeping through it, swallowed a bunch of them (one memory I'm glad I don't retain) and perhaps, she just didn't associate death-by-barbituates with Margaret Sullavan, Marilyn, Judy, Inger Stevens or Janis Joplin, so she went sleepwalking towards the Valley of the Shadow of the Dolls, I hope fearing no evil. But I've carried the guilt ever since, because I've lived my life as I wanted, not the life she had planned.
Guilt, perhaps: regrets, never.
By the way, I found out that Seconal, Nembutal, Tuinal are relics of another era. Benzodiazepines like Valium and Librium replaced them. Ambien and Klonopin are the meds many are mad about today. And I don't mean 'mad' as in 'angry'.
No, this renegade's almost trip across the River Styx happened almost in a Heath Ledger/perhaps Whitney Houston type scenario. I was in post-party recovery mode after a heavy 24 hour marathon, taking my multi vitamins, when I decided I'd pop a 5-HTP tablet to make sure I didn't go into one of my rare cry my a river-i feel so lost and directionless jags. Pro-active was re-active in this case.
Now, there's something else could have triggered the extreme stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, etc that I felt. I don't think so though. At first I blamed it on my Friday fried fish lunch. Or that lousy tasting cole slaw that was on the side. Or, the apple pie I had for dessert. Or the extreme heat of the day. Or the disappointment that I wasn't going to have Woodsy to myself when he came to town next week.
As it so happens, I had recently read a posting about 'Serotonin Toxicity' aka 'Serotonin Syndrome''....which meaning, too much of a good thing can kill you. And the worst possible combination: Speed I slammed plus the 5-HTP I swallowed could have killed me. My saving grace? I'd been putting food into my body, hydrating, and stretched on my bed in pain beyond belief, one of my cats kept swishing his tail in my face, making it impossible to nod off.
This is as good as time as any to plug a couple of my favorite resources for all things drug related.
Bluelight is an outstanding forum...to post questions you must register. Do that.
Reviewing Harm Reduction never caused anyone to miss the next shuttle launch.
I happened upon a site dedicated to the Rave and Club Drug scene: Dance Safe.
It is everyone's responsibility to look out for one's self. If you can watch your brother's back too; God Bless You. Brother Man, however, has to look out for himself first also though. The days of carrying excess weight are no more.
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