Originally posted 5/25/2011 on another site
No IML For Me
I'm kickng myself for not going, as this year, I have the weekend off...and I if don't land some full time work, well, speak kindly of me.
Palms to Poles Derby
I've been so busy fucking, I didn't know May was National Masturbation Month. My hands have been full and I've been putting so much elbow grease into bed hopping, I'm as wet as the Swiss Navy would be without a boat. You dedicated ‘baters have about 6 more days to edge. Some statistics from a survey of about 6000 wankers, from that bastion of accuracy, the net:Participants were whether they masturbated, and if so, how often they did using several time frames (past month, past year, more than a year). In terms of frequency:
San Francisco, a city with a sense of priority that defies logic, and elected officials who carry out said priorities like zombies, is considering an ordinance to ban Circumcisions. Yep. I double checked: Not Circuses, not Caesarian Sections, not Circuit Parties or Breakers, Circle Jerks, Circle K's or Cirque du Soleil. Circumcision rates have been dropping wonder if this could prompt a foreskin tax in the future. Or a ban on beef brisket due to poor communication.
No Miracles performed after Acsencion Sunday!
Here in Hollywood, I'm used to seeing celebrities in average places. Jesus himself appears to be spending his 40 day post-Resurrection In West Hollywood. Not one to shun the spotlight and to my dismay, he is regularly interviewed. He looks a little haggard, but I think I know what would put some starch in his tunic.
Type A's and Conspiracy Theorists Take Note
For those adventurers who chase tornados, ambulances, rainbows and are genuinely suspicious, here's a website for you. The Global Incident Map covers real time threats, natural disasters, border patrol: you name it. No UFO vampires or Elvis sightings though.
Hi--ho to Chicago
For those of you traveling long distances to and from IML in Chicago this weekend, travel safe, travel smart and remember that the Monday, May 30, pack up your leathers and break out the seersucker and linen. Labor Day is only 3 months away.
No IML For Me
I'm kickng myself for not going, as this year, I have the weekend off...and I if don't land some full time work, well, speak kindly of me.
Palms to Poles Derby
I've been so busy fucking, I didn't know May was National Masturbation Month. My hands have been full and I've been putting so much elbow grease into bed hopping, I'm as wet as the Swiss Navy would be without a boat. You dedicated ‘baters have about 6 more days to edge. Some statistics from a survey of about 6000 wankers, from that bastion of accuracy, the net:Participants were whether they masturbated, and if so, how often they did using several time frames (past month, past year, more than a year). In terms of frequency:
- 30% of women and 21% of men masturbated a few times a year or monthly
- 17% of women and 23% of men masturbated a few times a month or weekly
- 5% of women and 17% of men masturbated 2-3 times per week
- 2% of women and 11% of men masturbated more than 4 times a week
San Francisco, a city with a sense of priority that defies logic, and elected officials who carry out said priorities like zombies, is considering an ordinance to ban Circumcisions. Yep. I double checked: Not Circuses, not Caesarian Sections, not Circuit Parties or Breakers, Circle Jerks, Circle K's or Cirque du Soleil. Circumcision rates have been dropping wonder if this could prompt a foreskin tax in the future. Or a ban on beef brisket due to poor communication.
No Miracles performed after Acsencion Sunday!
Here in Hollywood, I'm used to seeing celebrities in average places. Jesus himself appears to be spending his 40 day post-Resurrection In West Hollywood. Not one to shun the spotlight and to my dismay, he is regularly interviewed. He looks a little haggard, but I think I know what would put some starch in his tunic.
Type A's and Conspiracy Theorists Take Note
For those adventurers who chase tornados, ambulances, rainbows and are genuinely suspicious, here's a website for you. The Global Incident Map covers real time threats, natural disasters, border patrol: you name it. No UFO vampires or Elvis sightings though.
Hi--ho to Chicago
For those of you traveling long distances to and from IML in Chicago this weekend, travel safe, travel smart and remember that the Monday, May 30, pack up your leathers and break out the seersucker and linen. Labor Day is only 3 months away.
No comments:
Post a Comment