While You Were Spinning

Originally posted 5/25/2011 on another site


No IML For Me
I'm kickng myself for not going, as this year, I have the weekend off...and I if don't land some full time work, well, speak kindly of me.

Palms to Poles Derby
I've been so busy fucking, I didn't know May was National Masturbation Month. My hands have been full and I've been putting so much elbow grease into bed hopping, I'm as wet as the Swiss Navy would be without a boat. You dedicated ‘baters have about 6 more days to edge. Some statistics from a survey of about 6000 wankers, from that bastion of accuracy, the net:Participants were whether they masturbated, and if so, how often they did using several time frames (past month, past year, more than a year). In terms of frequency:

• 30% of women and 21% of men masturbated a few times a year or monthly
• 17% of women and 23% of men masturbated a few times a month or weekly
• 5% of women and 17% of men masturbated 2-3 times per week
• 2% of women and 11% of men masturbated more than 4 times a week

A Cut Above
San Francisco, a city with a sense of priority that defies logic, and elected officials who carry out said priorities like zombies, is considering an ordinance to ban Circumcisions. Yep. I double checked: Not Circuses, not Caesarian Sections, not Circuit Parties or Breakers, Circle Jerks, Circle K's or Cirque du Soleil.  Circumcision rates have been dropping wonder if this could prompt a foreskin tax in the future. Or a ban on  beef brisket due to poor communication.

No Miracles performed after Acsencion Sunday!
Here in Hollywood, I'm used to seeing celebrities in average places. Jesus himself appears to be spending his 40 day post-Resurrection In West Hollywood.  Not one to shun the spotlight and to my dismay, he is regularly interviewed. He looks a little haggard, but I think I know what would put some starch in his tunic.

Type A's and Conspiracy Theorists Take Note
For those adventurers who chase tornados, ambulances, rainbows and are genuinely suspicious, here's a website for you. The Global Incident Map covers real time threats, natural disasters, border patrol: you name it. No UFO vampires or Elvis sightings though.   
Hi--ho to Chicago

For those of you traveling long distances to and from IML in Chicago this weekend, travel safe, travel smart and remember that the Monday, May 30, pack up your leathers and break out the seersucker and linen. Labor Day is only 3 months away.

Can't Fish? Cannes Fish. Film at 11

Originally posted 5/22/11 on another site.

In my town, we’ve been on top of the Cannes Film Festival. And because I know you’re too shy (or high) to ask, it’s pronounced ‘can’. Yep. Don’t say ‘khan’ unless you’re talking about Genghis, Chaka or the Star Trek sequel. 

The first Palme d’Or recipient was the 1955 film Marty, directed by Delbert Mann, who would become my next ‘d’Or’ neighbor when I arrived in Los Angeles in 1988.  

A good film tells a story. There are a million kinky stories and many can be found right here.  And when I say ‘film’, I mean video, you cochon kinky méchant bourgeois!
(The French lesson is free by the way.)

 

Examinons le genre du film des 'le party' to parlez about, oui? Merci.  There now at www.chempigs.com and your paid NKP membership gets you in, libre. Other zodiac signs too.

For les stupides amateurs: read the following carefully on how to make a great video.

-Viewers want to see your point (a syringe looking instrument aka a ‘rig’) registering (meaning something looking like blood goes into the ‘rig’). 
-Next, show us the contents of the rig being injected.
-Lastly: ‘the rush’. For those auditing this class sans experience, the rush is a (chemically induced v natural) sensation of heat, a feeling of extreme euphoria and an involuntary surrender of control and inhibitions as the rig’s contents swoosh via the blood stream through the body.

Do not cheat your viewers by ending there: critics can be merciless.
The audience expects to see, if not the whole face or body, a portion of the face (think masks, eyewear, lampshades) as the rush rolls.  A hearty cough, never guaranteed nor ever should be, may be heard, so please have sound. The film and ritual are completed (and thus properly respected) by the slammer uttering, muttering, howling, or punctuating via exclamation the Esperanto phrase:  ‘Fuck Yeah!’  The End. 

Savvy viewers won’t be impressed with lavish sets, designer wardrobe, casts of thousands, special effects or love themes if your basics aren’t in place. Squalor and disaster aren’t in vogue; happy and horny ever after always are.  Should you unwittingly bomb, don’t fret but consider pulling your vid tout de suite.

The best films, regardless of subject, are when we, les voyeurs, feel the passion. Passionate old Top that I am, I can’t resist a parody of movie musicals. And I have never watched Glee: I'm an old school queer.
Click here, and substitute today’s genre word ‘slam’ every time you hear ‘jazz’. Sing loud and howl with me: OH…FUCK…YEAH!

Voila! Vive le cinema! Class dismissed.

For Hoarse Men and the Apologists

Originally posted on 5/13/2011 . Changes have been made and the text has been edited for clarity.

IA man named Woodman with whom I have an on-again/off-again interest ( I have the 'on' while his view of me is, alas set to 'off') can look both with logic and no emotional investment told me last month that ''party and play' as a general trend' was declining. Good.

What? The original bachelor playboy denouncing partying? Think I'm nuts? On drugs? Face it: it's costly, and I don't mean just in money. It's hard on the body, and more so on the spirit. just indulge crazy but sober old me.

1: I've studied party and play and porn videos for 3 years...that's right,  study them for the storytelling merits: in these times you make your own job. Back to the videos: the older ones are truly more classic. I suffered the period where all that came along featured avant-garde effects, then the trend of 'teasers' that started late and ended too soon. There was a period when many videos were best used as ‘Just Say No: and Here's Why' documentary Countless others should have gone straight to the recycle bin. I'm encouraged by what I've seen in the past two weeks. Men. Partying . Well.  I'd like to think we are passing out of an unspoken Slamdance Film Festival Contest-mindset and back to storytelling, the classic way. This means those making videos are respectful of the power of the product.

2. The economy is slowly improving, thus new websites are popping up, fetish specific versus one stop where all kinks are included.  I've cancelled memberships and dropped many sites....mainly those with members who had the same faces under different screen names  all denying their kinkiness. NKP pioneered the concept of  "A fetish website whose members by default admit they are fetishists too". Wouldn't you rather browse 5 sites dedicated to 5 individual kinks versus 5 sites having the exact same one-size-fits-all content? Specialization keeps birds of a feather partying (or fisting, or rimming or hailing... a taxi) together. Not everyone wants to get into every kink at the same time. Actually I don't think that's physically possible. Focusing fosters fraternity.

3. You may have missed the memo that much of what is discussed in cyberspace chat rooms if acted upon is...considered illegal in most countries, and other subjects are regarded as just bad taste everywhere. But we're in cyberspace and that means fantasy mode...like Dungeons and Dragons. At least that's how I perceive it . I'd like to think we're at the heart, a bunch of good old boys running that underground game: Demons and Delusional Dudes. But trends come and go and PNP may soon become an quaint bit of nostalgia like poodle skirts and the Pet Rock. Those of course, who respect and can handle the side effects will need to hunker down, support each other and the result is a commmunity of like minded men.

4. A genius (or a lunatic) has come up with the idea of creating a videoconferencing directory of PNP devotees to circulate around like the pledge books of old. No, it's not press 1 and be connected to every player in the world, but you may find it handy.  Wide awake and wanting to see the clouds roll by? Send out a blanket message to the database and see who wants to join you.  Shaking like a....salt shaker belonging to a Quaker until you can slam? Now you might just not have to do that alone. You have to admit it keeps you off the streets, safe and secure at home. The roster is saved to your account, so you can block who you want, give the group a name (My Idea: The Social Register's Rush Guide to  Rushing Chemists). It's the start of a community, which is far away from trendy. Conversely it is a list, and if you join your screen name is on it. On the other hand.....it is a list and you might not want your screen name on such a list. You can leave the group and remove your name but personally I'd rather be with a group than standing solo.

You will have to ferret out your own signs that PNP is on the downtrend . I don't believe in conspiracies...no one is sober that long to have a solid plan. I am way over paranoiacs, power predator pervs and pretenders to the throne. I'd gladly show them the door if cyberspace had one.

If you can't chem well, don't chem. Know when to stop. You can do it. If you like to watch people on cam but you can't buy a cam for whatever excuse..Frys.com sells them for 5 bucks with a 5 buck rebate..then you don't want to network: you want a circus sideshow. Shame on you.

Still not convinced this is not the hobby for you and can't we please indulge you? No. We will love you but the dedicated addicts among us need our space to keep each other sane and balanced. This is no place for dabblers. Accept it and act accordingly.