Sunday, August 21, 2011

Return of A Jedi or The Boy* Who Came Back

*by no means a 'boy' but grant me artistic (and marketing) license.

About 3 months ago, on a website far far away, I stumbled across the cam of a very cute looking guy, a few years younger than me....well, eighteen years younger if you must know.  Donning my wolf-in-worsted-wool-style I sent salutations, and asked him to join me on Oo-voo, or AIM, or ICQ...it didn't matter...he agreed. I'm not one for groveling...I mean... seducing attractive younger men in chat rooms with two hundred strangers eavesdropping really cramps my style.

NO, I ONLY PLAY A WARLOCK ON CAM...oh gosh, we are on a cam, ahem.
Thank goodness I sensed this guy was knee deep in a tweak or I'd probably said, "Warlock? You confuse me with Carlos Estevez...aka Charlie Sheen. I am greater than that!"(I encountered CS in Vegas years ago, plastered, as we shared an elevator ride in the Golden Nugget Hotel). But it didn't matter, my new pal from the Midwest, had cast me as the leader of an all powerful organization intent on doing him no good. Being a man shaped by movies, I merged the Stepford Men's Association with those loveable old coots who shared the Dakota Apts with Rosemary and her baby-to-be...then realized it's no compliment being compared with Sidney Blackmer, Maurice Evans or even Ruth Gordon. I know my voice is a bit nasal but..really!

NOT SO FAST, FURIOUS OR FUNNY
I make light of this, but Andy, an otherwise intelligent, grounded guy was in bad straits. And there was no charming smile, no witty repartee, nothing I could do to calm his fears. I'd encountered this before...with guys of all shapes and sizesbut I usually could talk them out of their trees. And for the first time, I wondered if my on screen 'persona', which isn't too far from 'me' but certainly ratched up, was working against me. And, perhaps for the first time, I consciously saw what staying too long at the party could invite. We've all watched as someone who clearly needs to call it a night continues on. Sometimes we egg them on. (and sometimes, that totally fucked up person is playing us...meaning he's sober as a judge). Actions have consequences, lest we forget.

GONE IN 60 SECONDS
I managed to get Andy's email before he logged off and blocked me. I even took some time to research the macabre meanderings in his midwest village (thank God it wasn't Wisconsin). Time went by, and to my utmost pleasure, I got an email last week from him and we caught up. He's backed off chemistry class and opted for philosophy. He's far braver than I, but we expect that of subsequent generations. And I'm proud as any papa could be, not because of what I did, but what I didn't do.

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